When I am tired of praying

I am tired, Lord. I have brought my son’s name to You so many times that even the words feel worn. I have asked with hope, waited with hope, and searched for some small sign that my prayers are making a difference. Today I do not see one.

Still, I am here.

Receive this weary prayer as an act of love. When I cannot pray with confidence, let faithfulness be enough. Keep disappointment from hardening into bitterness, and keep silence from convincing me that You are absent. You have not asked me to measure the effect of every prayer. You have invited me to come near, to ask, and to trust You with what I cannot see.

Give me grace for this day, not strength for every day ahead. Renew in me the quiet courage to speak my son’s name before You again. Let prayer become a place where I rest in Your company, not another task I fear I am failing.

I do not know what will change or when. I cannot make an answer arrive. But I can keep loving him, and I can keep coming to You. Hold what I have prayed through all these years. Hold my son. And when I am too tired to carry hope, carry me until hope rises again.